‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ is, Actually, a Date Rape Song

Baby It’s Cold Outside: it really is an insanely catchy, Christmas-themed date rape song. That we sang in seventh grade chorus. Ponder this:

“The neighbors might think (Baby it’s bad out there)
Say what’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell) (Why thank you)
I ought to say no, no, no sir (Mind if move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (What’s the sense of hurtin’ my pride?)
I really can’t stay (Baby don’t hold out)
Baby it’s cold outside”

Nothing like fresh-faced middle-schoolers singing about roofies. No need to ban it, but we should own what it is: a catchy song with loads of references to date rape. Of course, our bell choir director had us do a kickin’ bell rendition of Ring My Bell, too. I hope she was a closet subversive and not simply completely clueless.