Our National Bird is Kind of a Dick

So I am back after my long anticipated vacation was brought to a crashing halt. Here are some pictures (not fab) of why I am pretty sure our national mascot is kind of a dick.

Here we have an Osprey out looking for dinner from above Oxbow Bend on the Snake River:

osprey looking for dinner

And after a steep descent and crashing dive in to the river, our Osprey emerges with a fish:

osprey has dinner

Enter, from way on high, stage left, the bald eagle/asshole:

enter stage left

Our Osprey quickly conducts a math experiment in his head in which he calculates his mass versus Bald Eagle mass and he decides he will get his ass kicked by the very large and not friendly Bald Eagle, so he drops the fish into a field where our Asshole Eagle comes swooping in to get the fish he most definitely did not work for:

the eagle is landing

And so, in nature as in our every day life, the bigger, meaner bird walks away with the spoils and the rest of us are back to scrapping for dinner:

the eagle has the fish

9 thoughts on “Our National Bird is Kind of a Dick

  1. When the eagle was considered for national emblem in 1782, wise Benjamin Franklin championed the turkey. He said: “The Bald Eagle is too lazy to fish for himself; when the Osprey has taken a fish … the eagle pursues him and takes it away from him. … Besides he is a rank coward …” frightened by a kingbird. But the Wild Turkey, Franklin wrote, is “a bird of courage [that] would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British guards, who should presume to invade his farmyard with a red coat on.”


  2. Astute observation. In fact, it concurs with Ben Franklin’s assessment of the flashy-but-felonious bird.

    But, contrary to myth, Ben didn’t exactly want to nominate the turkey as the national bird, but he lauded the humble bird’s work ethic in comparison to the bully Bald Eagle. Then again, as this article points out, the turkey wouldn’t have made such a photogenic icon for our seal.

    I think the Bald Eagle had a good PR agent. He managed to get top billing and because of his good looks, he not only avoids being traditional Thanksgiving dinner, he gets protected by his adoring public.

    Sort of a metaphor for a lot of things, isn’t it.



  3. Pretty darn sure the fish was not liking either one of these guys. LOL.. Don’t feel sorry for the osprey. We had an eagle’s nest in a nearby swampy area for years… then one day about 5 yrs ago the osprey moved in & chased the eagles out. Osprey have been there every spring since. We frequently see ravens beating on the eagles. Everyone has a Nemesis.


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